One of the things I like the most about my job as a hostess is seeing passengers happy. I imagine it’s almost like being an entertainer at a holiday resort, when you get to know people and you start to interact with them, except for the fact that they are only with you for a few hours. Sometimes of course you do see familiar faces, the frequent flyers whom you get to know – just like holidaymakers who return to the same place, I suppose. But it has to be said that some passengers are less fun to be around. Here are a few of the more irritating types of passenger that we meet:
The Noisy Neighbour – even though their friends and family are sitting in the seats next to them, they still think their conversation is worth hearing from fifteen rows back. The lack of self-awareness can be really staggering at times.
The Overhead Locker Hog – the lockers are there for everyone, and the rules say one item of hand luggage per passenger. And yet somehow this individual manages to claim not only the space above them but somebody else’s too. Nowhere left to put your bag? Not my problem.
The Selfish Seat Recliner – leg room may be slightly more generous on these decent airlines, but the man behind you isn’t squatting on his seat and really does need somewhere to put his legs. And by the way, you’ve just spilt his coffee all over his lap.
The Seat Bumper – from the same family as No. 3, the seat bumper causes the front seat to shake with every foray into the net in front for a new magazine or to read the safety instructions for the eleventh time. It isn’t always obvious how irritating this can be for the person in front.
The Germ Sharer – you can’t help it if you have a cold, but the coat of the person sitting next to you is not a handkerchief. Please do whatever you can to keep your bacteria to yourself.
The Window-Seat Lavatory Frequenter – some people have weak bladders, others just drink rather a lot before they board their plane. In either case it can be a good idea to use a bit of foresight and request an aisle seat.
The Bleeper – Undeterred by the lack of a reception at 30,000 feet, the bleeper spends the duration of the flight playing space invaders on their mobile phone and has yet to realise the handset has a mute button.
The Smelly Passenger – Not much to add really. Some things just can’t be helped but a pre-flight bath can do great things for a passenger’s popularity. And have you really taken your shoes off?
Arm-Rest Wars – there is only ever one arm-rest between two seats so you really need to sort this one out with your neighbour.
The Serial Complainer – I’m here to do whatever I can to help but there are some things which really are outside of my control. Turbulence, the absence of your favourite meal from the airline menu and the weather at your destination are amongst them.